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We have one life to really live here now and love here now... let's find out the best of 'what, who, where, and how'...


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Destiny...The Top Three Signals

How do we really know if 'destiny' is a viable concept for our lives and careers?
Three areas of research and scholarship support the idea that if it does not exist, at least people think it does and act as if it does....

David McClelland and his many students and followers at Harvard studied the need for achievement. There are 'high achievers' everywhere, in every culture....about ten percent of any group, culture, population...ther are ambitious and believe that they need to be ambitious.

Maslow, one of the most famous contemporary psychologists, claimed that we all eventually reach for the highest and deepest need...to self actualize....to bring into reality our most creative and personal contribution...to feel ultimate fulfillment...

The career-lifework research of Po Bronson and others established that some people, in fact, many people seek a deep, fulfilling central lifework. My own research and that of my doctoral students shows that about one third of a sample of Southern California people are conscious of seeking a single lifework or central project in their life.

So, if the research points to a segment of every population striving for a central life purpose, why would we not call that 'destiny'. That word has BIG, spiritual implications! It could be as simple as a 'destination'. Or as profound as 'predestination', the idea that every person has a unique destiny, precisely known in advance by God, but left to us to find somewhat blindly through life's trials and tribulations. Which is it? Which extreme?

To make matters more complicated yet, where does destiny come from? Is it crafted by outside forces, by our parents, or uniquely by ourselves from what we experience?
Most psychologists I know would say the latter is the safest bet...it comes from our unique life experiences and the direction that we find from that.

I do believe we get signals about destiny and life from within. We experience some things and say, "I like that"....or, "That turns me off". But it takes many of us years just to understand the signals....what they are saying to us from within....the inner voice....our intuition...consciously seeking what we want, even sometimes not clearly knowing what we want....yet striving to figure it out.

This I have called "the conscious seeking".

The opposite is an absolute fatalist. He or she believes there is no choice. It is written somewhere. There is no point in even thinking about it...

I rejected that way of believing and living long, long ago. For myself, it had to be that there was something I was supposed to find. Some perfect combination of things I liked. I was so lucky, I was right for myself. And I found it at 42, halfway through life expectancy!

My view of my destiny is that it is not a lifetime achievement award, but a purpose that leads on to other purposes....

It is not a sunset cruise, but rather a sunrise spectacular!

Destiny is worth finding. If you don't believe in one, I think you may be surprised someday. Destiny will find you. Somebody or something will walk into your life and say, "Surprise!, I am here!" And the game changes that day, that moment.

All of us who exist came here through two parents. Those parents met somewhere on this planet, somehow, some wierd and wonderful way. What were the statistical chances? Nearly impossible. Yet you are here. You are your own destiny. Now that you are finally arrived, let's find out what we are supposed to do with our time...

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